Michael Hayward asked:


24th August – 3rd September: The Thoughts of our Desires.

Melbourne, Florida.

Part 1

Time at Seacamp finished and I am happy in the purest form. What I have been craving for months is finally here. Angela and Carolyn – two friends of mine from work, who left a few weeks early – came down on a Friday night to pick me up, as I was to stay with Angela for a few days – a deal we had made during the period of the two weeks she had been away – at least five letters must have been sent back and forth arranging this – there were no stones left unturned. Angela is a girl who lifts me up good and she is a real looker too. Long silky legs that never end and I hope they don’t. Anyway, I had a great time down there for those last few days, then we all headed back up to Melbourne where they all lived and went to college. Monica – a girl I had never met – came with them – a friend of Carolyn’s. A real go getter; quiet and polite as a mouse, but stick on some music with a pulse and she’ll tear you apart and make you feel alive at the same time. I sat in the back of the car with Angela watching Monica moving energetically and sometimes abrasively in the passenger seat, rocking the whole car sometimes as we drove on the through the state.

We were all happy – world waiting, rushing underneath our feet – felt like I was getting in some good miles and experience with every passing food store. Journey all told was a little over five hours, but feeling like less because for the last two holding Angela’s hand, playing with them, teasing and tricking them, laughing hard, fully belly laughs that hurt the stomach, give them a real workout. It was this time spent in the back of the car that made me realise how I openly wanted love Angela, but I wasn’t sure of her wants. The fingers slinked in mine gave me hope.

Well, hop de hop, we embraced that night after a hearty meal of rice and vegetables, cooked up ourselves, no fuss but tasted delicious. Washed down with wine and beer; perfect night in our eyes.  Both inexperienced, willing to learn, acting like pros – we were good, so we thought, and two bodies that whistle the same tune are telling truths not lies.

Slept hardly any that night, lay there warm and cozy against Angela – who slept more than me, and apologised for waking her, but she said not to apologise, but did anyway and she laughed and that was when I knew – in the darkness, feeling her form, listening to her breaths, that I was smack bang in the middle of it. Morning came harsh to weary and wine soaked eyes and realised I should have picked up a pack of coffee in the store yesterday. Up at seven, breakfast of Lucky Charms (something I had failed to track down for years) and we watched television and by this time it was eight thirty and the sun was illuminating the room and shadows appeared on the furniture and we got in the car and headed over to Angela’s college, a stop off for a semester she says to get in to her major. I waited up at the library on the second floor as she went to class, did some reading on the Ancient Egyptians and the Pharaohs. Egypt were dependent on the scribes, who formed part of the literary movement and held the key to power – information. An honoured profession, writing being an invention of the scribe god Thoth, he of the Ibis head – and my head was feeling glad, not tired, but thirsty for love and knowledge of it all!

Time flew by and at late morning we were headed over to her mum’s house to pick up some bar stools to put in Angela’s apartment – turned out the stools look mighty fine and it was a good deal. Had lunch of Pizza. Greeted by an overly friendly, eagerly tippy kind of guy, but he was a nice guy and so one couldn’t get too mad for not giving us two seconds in peace. The meal was good and with our freshly seasoned stomachs we went to look at the pet store and on the way back, both feeling tired and satisfied – hardly spoke any on the journey, but no need; we were both thinking similar thoughts – I am pretty sure of that. Made plans for the evening to have dinner at Carolyn and Monica’s place – pasta dinner, we made the salad and brought it round. Also made plans for the two of us. I want to make love to you she said. And it was the most glorious sentence of my life. Tonight I said, kissing her and clutching and clawing at her back, pushing her against the frame of the bedroom door, both fully clothed and fully aroused. But we can go through it together, you know, step by step, yeah? – because I wanted us to learn and move in sync and know exactly the thoughts of our desires. It will be perfect, she said to me between kisses and I was sure that was true.

And though we never did make love – she said she was still hurting from last night and I apologised and she sincerely told me it was a “good hurt” and I believed her – we were in her bedroom for an hour, naked, pushing against each other stroking kissing biting pulling everything good and I smiled and she did and we laughed sometimes, not knowing why, but laughing nonetheless. And my it was a perfect night and we both fell into a deep dreamless sleep and wow and wow and wooweee!!!!!!!



GRIDLEY